Tonight, I had a moment to myself.
And what did I do?
I tried on maternity clothes, the ones I had deemed as “maybes” after going through 5 tubs of maternity clothes amassed by the women of our community.
A little one-momma fashion show.
I found clothes that worked rather well…some that made my nose wrinkle…others that made me laugh out loud (seeing my 4-month-along frame in much-to-much cloth)…some that caused me to raise my eyebrows and feel pretty again. I played with adding a fun thrifted belt to some of the ensembles.
I posed and pushed my belly out and sucked my belly in, studying my changing form in the full length mirror.
And the house remained asleep.
I’m pretty sure this will be this last time I have the rare joy of trying on borrowed maternity clothes in the early months of pregnancy. It’s something that’s lifted my spirits with every pregnancy. It reminds me that, even though my regular clothes feel tight and uncomfortable, I still look humorous in maternity sizes. And it reminds me that my body is only going to keep growing and growing. Somehow, it helps me to embrace this 9 month adventure that means lots of physical changes and emotional ups and downs. I need something light-hearted to help me let go of that non-pregnant figure that I miss already.
It’s a small joy that pulls me out of my daily routines of cooking and cleaning and being a mommy.
Tonight, it was just what I needed.
I laughed and played and enjoyed feeling a little like my old self – the one who used to stay up late enjoying the quiet and thinking about the day and about silly things that didn’t matter. Those moments helped me feel more alive in some small way.
Those moments are rare these days.
But, I don’t take them for granted anymore.
And, as silly as it sounds, I might just remember this quiet evening for the rest of my life.
(This picture and post are actually from a week or two ago, but I wanted to share it anyway.)