Here is something I’ve learned over the years being a wife and a mother: If I’m frustrated with my husband for not doing enough around the house or not helping me enough with the kids, it’s time for me to focus on some self-care. The truth is that I am feeling exhausted and overwhelmed by all I have to do, not that he is not doing enough. It’s just easy to blame the other worker on the job. I have a good husband who works hard for our family and who helps out a ton. If I’m tired and need a break, it does no good to get mad at my one partner in this stressful job of keeping a house and raising three children. It also does no good for me to give him a sob story about how exhausted I am and how I never get a break (especially, if I throw in a little comparison statement about how many breaks he’s had recently). That just leaves him feeling guilty and me sounding whiny.
Instead, the best thing for me to do is just plan some self-care and then go for it! I have an awesome husband who will take care of things while I go do yoga or have coffee with a friend or take a hot bath. Everybody is happier when I’ve taken care of myself. As a naturally people-pleasing and self-sacrificing person, it’s taken me a long time to learn this simple lesson. Sacrifice is a huge part of motherhood, but playing the role of martyr in these situations doesn’t usually help anyone.
After nearly a year with a new babe in our house, I’ve realized it’s time for some intentional self-care. I’ve been crabbier lately. I’ve felt frustrated with everyone for little infractions. I’ve been a little down and unmotivated. AND, I’ve been frustrated with Josh for not doing enough around the house and with the kids. BING BING BING – that sets off an alarm in my head: If I’m frustrated with my husband for not doing enough around the house or not helping me enough with the kids, it’s time for me to focus on some self-care.
So, I’m planning some extra time for myself in the next month. I’m hoping to exercise or do yoga at least every other day. I’m planning to cash in on some massage trades. I’m gonna plan some date nights and a few hours of alone time without kids. I am feeling better just thinking about it…